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Trouble Connecting with Your Newborn?

The birth of a child is supposed to be one of the happiest times in a new mother’s life. For nine months, soon-to-be moms and dads eagerly await the arrival of their child. Parties celebrating the new arrival help to prepare the family with the items every newborn needs. Diapers, pacifier, bedding, and cribs are purchased to give the child a wonderful start in life. The families can’t wait for the birth of the child.

Once the child is born, some mother’s continue feeling that same euphoric high and love for their child. But some new mothers are caught by surprise that they don’t feel a connection with the child, feel depressed, stressed out, or anxiety ridden. This could then cause the new mother to feel shameful of her feelings. These few symptoms are actually quite common, with half of the women who give birth each year experiencing negative changes in their mental health. New mom’s need to understand they are not alone, that the feelings are common, and can be overcome with help.

What they are experiencing is postpartum depression. It’s a biological illness caused by changes in hormone levels in the body and brain chemistry after giving birth. Pregnancy increases the hormone levels of progesterone and estrogen within the body, which drop rapidly after giving birth. The thyroid gland and endorphins can also be affected. The body goes through so many chemical changes within a short period of time that it increases the risk of women having depression.

If a new mom feels any of the following, make an appointment to see a marriage and family therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, or nurse practitioner.

• “Crying more than usual
• Feeling sad much of the time
• Unable to concentrate and feeling in a fog
• Finding it difficult to remember where you've put things
• Unable to enjoy the things that you used to enjoy
• So exhausted but still unable to sleep even when your baby sleeps
• Tired most of the day Feeling like you will always feel this way
• Afraid to be alone Wishing you were dead instead of having to feel this way any longer”

Depending upon which type of therapist is right for new mom, will depend upon how postpartum depression is treated. For some, antidepresssent medication is right, whereas for some, psychotherapy “talk therapy” is the best treatment option. Family therapy is also a very important therapy because it involves the significant other in the treatment process. The addition of a new family member puts stress upon the whole family, not just the new mom.

American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. (2012). Postpartum Depression. Retrieved from http://www.aamft.org/imis15/Content/Consumer_Updates/Postpartum_Depression.aspx